Day 3: Love is Not Selfish
This day is about putting your spouse's needs ahead of your own.
"Love is never satisfied except in the welfare of others. You can't be acting out of real love and selfishness at the same time. Choosing to love your mate will cause you to say no to what you want so you can say "yes" to what they need. That's putting the happiness of your partner above your own. It doesn't mean you can never experience happiness, but you don't negate the happiness of your spouse so you can enjoy it yourself."
Today's dare says to buy your spouse something that tells them you were thinking of them.
The journal asks "What did you choose to give your spouse? What happened when you gave it?"
I bought Andrew a pair of fancy little steaks wrapped in bacon. He always wants to get nice steaks, but we never get them because they're too expensive. So I went ahead and got them for him. He was pretty pleased when I gave it to him.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Day Two
Day two was as easy as day one. We're both pretty kind most of the time, so it really was just a matter of paying attention to what we're doing, and trying to think of things to be even more kind. Today's challenge asked us to do at least one act of unexpected kindness, and we both did plenty.
I'm supposed to list specifics, but I am having trouble thinking of everything because it's so late and I'm way tired. It was hot and the fan stopped working, so I grabbed a stack of paper and fanned him. I cleaned out the litter boxes, which is a job he always does although he dislikes it. Andrew folded a tin of laundry for me. He took the initiative in doing the dishes. We did lots of other things.
We haven't really changed much so far, but I'm sure future challenges will be more challenging. Something I've noticed is that I feel more love already just because we started this dare.
Tomorrow is Day Three: Love is Not Selfish.
I'm supposed to list specifics, but I am having trouble thinking of everything because it's so late and I'm way tired. It was hot and the fan stopped working, so I grabbed a stack of paper and fanned him. I cleaned out the litter boxes, which is a job he always does although he dislikes it. Andrew folded a tin of laundry for me. He took the initiative in doing the dishes. We did lots of other things.
We haven't really changed much so far, but I'm sure future challenges will be more challenging. Something I've noticed is that I feel more love already just because we started this dare.
Tomorrow is Day Three: Love is Not Selfish.
Monday, August 8, 2011
Day One
I have completed Day One of the love dare. Day one was "Love is patient." Today I was challenged to demonstrate patience and to say nothing negative at all.
Today's journal section asks "Did anything happen today to cause anger toward your mate? Were you tempted to think disapproving thoughts and to let them come out in words?"
Unfortunately for people reading, I don't have much to say about today. But that is a good thing. Today was actually very easy for me. We didn't have any conflict at all, so it didn't take much effort to complete this challenge, and I don't have much to say about our experience. I think I'm generally pretty good at being patient, but today I paid extra attention to my patience. I went really well. I'm going to be continuing this, and we'll see how it works in the future.
As for tomorrow:
Day 2: Love Is Kind
It says patience and kindness are the cornerstones of love. "If patience is how love reacts in order to minimize a negative circumstance, kindness is how love acts in order to maximize a positive circumstance. PAtience avoids a problem; kindness creates a blessing."
It breaks kindness down into four ingredients: gentleness (be sensitive, never be unnecessarily harsh), helpfulness (meet your spouse's needs, even if yours are put on hold), willingness(be agreeable, cooperate, compromise, listen), and initiative(think ahead, then take the first step).
The dare is to do at least one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness.
Today's journal section asks "Did anything happen today to cause anger toward your mate? Were you tempted to think disapproving thoughts and to let them come out in words?"
Unfortunately for people reading, I don't have much to say about today. But that is a good thing. Today was actually very easy for me. We didn't have any conflict at all, so it didn't take much effort to complete this challenge, and I don't have much to say about our experience. I think I'm generally pretty good at being patient, but today I paid extra attention to my patience. I went really well. I'm going to be continuing this, and we'll see how it works in the future.
As for tomorrow:
Day 2: Love Is Kind
It says patience and kindness are the cornerstones of love. "If patience is how love reacts in order to minimize a negative circumstance, kindness is how love acts in order to maximize a positive circumstance. PAtience avoids a problem; kindness creates a blessing."
It breaks kindness down into four ingredients: gentleness (be sensitive, never be unnecessarily harsh), helpfulness (meet your spouse's needs, even if yours are put on hold), willingness(be agreeable, cooperate, compromise, listen), and initiative(think ahead, then take the first step).
The dare is to do at least one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
The Love Dare
Tomorrow I will be beginning the Love Dare. What is the love dare? "The Love Dare is a 40-day challenge for husbands and wives to understand and practice unconditional love. Whether your marriage is hanging by a thread or healthy and strong, The Love Dare is a journey you need to take. It's time to learn the keys to finding true intimacy and developing a dynamic marriage."
The Love Dare is a book that was featured in a movie called Fireproof. Fireproof is a Christian film about a man whose marriage is failing, and headed for divorce. His father challenges him to take the love dare, and apparently this end up saving the marriage (I haven't seen the film, so I'm assuming it ends well).
I must state that I'm not a Christian. But I have been in the past, and I do find wisdom in the Bible and it's messages about love. From what I've read online, it seems the movie and the book are very much about loving God and using your connection with God to strengthen your connection with your spouse. I'm not really sure how much we'll be able to get out of it without believing in the Christian God. Although I am no longer a Christian, I am open to the messages, and I am very willing to listen to what this book has to say. The reviews I have been reading say that this program works for couples who are not Christian, so I hope that they are right and this will work for us.
The Love Dare is a 40-day program. Each day has a new theme and, you are given a new dare. Each dare has about two pages of explanation and encouragement, and then a paragraph outlining that day's dare. Then there are a couple of pages for you to use as a journal to record what you did, how it went, and your spouse's response.
I'm not going to be reading ahead, so I don't know what all of the challenges are going to be. I generally like skimming through a new book, and I really want to just go ahead and read all of the dares, but I feel it will be beneficial to just take it one day at a time. So each evening, I will be reading the next day's chapter.
I have just read the first challenge.
Day 1: Love is Patient
It states, "Love is built on two pillars that best define what it is. Those pillars are patience and kindness. All other characteristics of love are extensions of these two attributes. And that's where your dare will begin. With patience."
It goes on to explain the importance of choosing to be patient; responding to negative situations positively, being slow to anger, extending mercy to those around you. It says that anger doesn't solve problems, it makes them worse, while patience and calm stops problems in their tracks. "It is a choice to control your emotions rather than allowing your emotions to control you, and shows discretion instead of returning evil for evil."
Then there are several paragraphs about having more patience with your spouse, and how it will improve your relationship.
The challenge for today says to demonstrate patience all day and not say anything negative to your spouse. I will be completing this challenge tomorrow, and tomorrow night I will journal the results of day one, along with listing the challenge for tomorrow.
The Love Dare is a book that was featured in a movie called Fireproof. Fireproof is a Christian film about a man whose marriage is failing, and headed for divorce. His father challenges him to take the love dare, and apparently this end up saving the marriage (I haven't seen the film, so I'm assuming it ends well).
I must state that I'm not a Christian. But I have been in the past, and I do find wisdom in the Bible and it's messages about love. From what I've read online, it seems the movie and the book are very much about loving God and using your connection with God to strengthen your connection with your spouse. I'm not really sure how much we'll be able to get out of it without believing in the Christian God. Although I am no longer a Christian, I am open to the messages, and I am very willing to listen to what this book has to say. The reviews I have been reading say that this program works for couples who are not Christian, so I hope that they are right and this will work for us.
The Love Dare is a 40-day program. Each day has a new theme and, you are given a new dare. Each dare has about two pages of explanation and encouragement, and then a paragraph outlining that day's dare. Then there are a couple of pages for you to use as a journal to record what you did, how it went, and your spouse's response.
I'm not going to be reading ahead, so I don't know what all of the challenges are going to be. I generally like skimming through a new book, and I really want to just go ahead and read all of the dares, but I feel it will be beneficial to just take it one day at a time. So each evening, I will be reading the next day's chapter.
I have just read the first challenge.
Day 1: Love is Patient
It states, "Love is built on two pillars that best define what it is. Those pillars are patience and kindness. All other characteristics of love are extensions of these two attributes. And that's where your dare will begin. With patience."
It goes on to explain the importance of choosing to be patient; responding to negative situations positively, being slow to anger, extending mercy to those around you. It says that anger doesn't solve problems, it makes them worse, while patience and calm stops problems in their tracks. "It is a choice to control your emotions rather than allowing your emotions to control you, and shows discretion instead of returning evil for evil."
Then there are several paragraphs about having more patience with your spouse, and how it will improve your relationship.
The challenge for today says to demonstrate patience all day and not say anything negative to your spouse. I will be completing this challenge tomorrow, and tomorrow night I will journal the results of day one, along with listing the challenge for tomorrow.
Friday, July 22, 2011
Yesterday we learned about Pointillism. I showed Joon some Georges Seurat paintings, and talked about painting with dots of colors.
Then I set out the watercolors and some q-tips, and we went to work. Joon had fun with it, and she says she wants to do it again.
This is what Joon made:
And this is mine:
Then I set out the watercolors and some q-tips, and we went to work. Joon had fun with it, and she says she wants to do it again.
This is what Joon made:
And this is mine:
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
One year.
Today is July 5th. A year ago today, Joon was admitted to the hospital. A year ago, we knew something was seriously wrong with her, but no one had any idea how serious it was. After three days of taking her to the ER and being sent home, we finally got someone to listen to us. Unfortunately, she suffered in the military hospital for a week with a doctor ignoring her before we managed to get her transferred to the Children's Hospital. She was hospitalized for an entire month, before she was stable enough to be released.
It's amazing what a difference a year can make. A year ago, Joon was like a newborn. She couldn't eat, drink, talk, walk, stand up, sit, or even hold her head up. All she did was lay there and cry. A year later, she's back to normal. You can't tell she was sick at all. She has made a complete recovery.
She regained everything she lost while she was sick. While she was being treated in the hospital, she slowly learned to sit up on her own, then stand, then walk. She learned to eat, and finally, after almost a month, she learned to drink. After leaving the hospital, she went to Physical Therapy and Occupational Therapy, which helped her with her continuing recovery. With their help, she rebuilt all the strength and skills she had lost.
When she left the hospital, she still couldn't talk, but learned to talk about gradually over the next few months. She never did get the Speech Therapy that the Children's Hospital had recommended, because she managed to learn to talk again by the time the insurance approved her evaluation. She was about 38 months old when she was evaluated, and she tested at a 48 month level. So clearly she did not need speech therapy at that point.
She continued her PT and OT through the end of December. They re-evaluated her, and her motor skills were all good for her age level. Her strength was a little behind, but they said all she needs is something like a dance class or karate. There's a 3-year-old beginning dance class at the community center near our house, so we signed her up for that.
She has finished her first year of preschool. At the beginning of the school year, she wasn't talking at all, and I thought maybe she wouldn't be able to go. But after we met the teacher, she said she didn't think it would be a problem, and we should let Joon try it out. I'm glad she did. Joon did wonderfully in preschool, and I think it really helped speed up her recovery. She started out very shy and didn't want to interact much with the other kids, but by May, she was doing great. Her class put on a holiday program in December, and another program in May. Joon didn't participate much in the December show, but she did during the May show.
Here's a video of Joon's class doing their last show:
July 4th, 2010:
July 4th, 2011:
We took Joon to see the fireworks last night. This was particularly exciting, not just because it's always fun to celebrate with family, but because Joon had to miss out on the fireworks last year. She had been looking forward to watching the fireworks, but we were in the ER all night on the 4th. Of course while Joon was so sick, we were not at all concerned with missing the holiday. But now it's super awesome that she's back to normal and we were able to celebrate what we missed last year.
It's amazing what a difference a year can make. A year ago, Joon was like a newborn. She couldn't eat, drink, talk, walk, stand up, sit, or even hold her head up. All she did was lay there and cry. A year later, she's back to normal. You can't tell she was sick at all. She has made a complete recovery.
She regained everything she lost while she was sick. While she was being treated in the hospital, she slowly learned to sit up on her own, then stand, then walk. She learned to eat, and finally, after almost a month, she learned to drink. After leaving the hospital, she went to Physical Therapy and Occupational Therapy, which helped her with her continuing recovery. With their help, she rebuilt all the strength and skills she had lost.
When she left the hospital, she still couldn't talk, but learned to talk about gradually over the next few months. She never did get the Speech Therapy that the Children's Hospital had recommended, because she managed to learn to talk again by the time the insurance approved her evaluation. She was about 38 months old when she was evaluated, and she tested at a 48 month level. So clearly she did not need speech therapy at that point.
She continued her PT and OT through the end of December. They re-evaluated her, and her motor skills were all good for her age level. Her strength was a little behind, but they said all she needs is something like a dance class or karate. There's a 3-year-old beginning dance class at the community center near our house, so we signed her up for that.
She has finished her first year of preschool. At the beginning of the school year, she wasn't talking at all, and I thought maybe she wouldn't be able to go. But after we met the teacher, she said she didn't think it would be a problem, and we should let Joon try it out. I'm glad she did. Joon did wonderfully in preschool, and I think it really helped speed up her recovery. She started out very shy and didn't want to interact much with the other kids, but by May, she was doing great. Her class put on a holiday program in December, and another program in May. Joon didn't participate much in the December show, but she did during the May show.
Here's a video of Joon's class doing their last show:
July 4th, 2010:
July 4th, 2011:
We took Joon to see the fireworks last night. This was particularly exciting, not just because it's always fun to celebrate with family, but because Joon had to miss out on the fireworks last year. She had been looking forward to watching the fireworks, but we were in the ER all night on the 4th. Of course while Joon was so sick, we were not at all concerned with missing the holiday. But now it's super awesome that she's back to normal and we were able to celebrate what we missed last year.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Joon and Penny.
Joon is almost 100% back to normal now. She's talking all the time, she just pronounces some things weird, like she has some kind of accent. I'm so so so happy to have her back the way she was before. Every days she says funny things and smart things. We have great conversations. The other day we were talking about mammals, and how they all make milk for their babies. She listed a bunch of different animals, telling me which ones make milk, and which don't. She asked me if monsters make milk, and I said I didn't know, and we debated whether or not they were mammals. She says she wants to climb the mountain like Captain Kirk. She keeps referencing Futurama.
Joon started preschool a few weeks ago, and she's doing great! She's really enjoying it, and I think it's going to be good for her. She brought home her first Scholastic order forms, and I want to order her a bunch of things, but sadly we can only afford one cheap thing. Every day, they learn about a different color, and they're encouraged to wear that color. They do crafts and learn new songs, and Joon is always so excited to tell us about everything she did at school.
Penny is growing crazy fast. She's doing all sorts of new stuff every day. She's grabbing things pretty well now. She can get toys into her mouth. She is desperate to get food. Every time there's food nearby, she tries to get it. She also rolls around constantly. She generally doesn't like being on her belly, but she still rolls onto her belly within minutes of being put down on her back. She's having problems sleeping now, and I think it's because she's teething. She's making all sorts of noises, and when you say Hi to her, she usually responds with a big "Hiii!" She can sit for a few seconds with her upper body propped up on her arms.
We went to a hot air balloon festival, and Joon was pretty excited about it. Penny also seemed interested in the big brightly colored balloons.
On Friday, my mom and I took the kids to Helen Hunt Falls. We hiked through the forest for a couple of hours, and played in the stream.
Then we took a quick trip to the zoo.
Joon turned three this past Wednesday. We had her birthday party yesterday, and it went well. Not many people showed up. Joon liked all the presents she got. We gave her a Dorothy the Dinosaur costume, a Wags the Dog costume, a plush Shifu from Kung Fu Panda, and a set of pots and pans for her toy kitchen. My mom gave her some toy food and a bunch of books. She also got a puppy Play Doh set, a mermaid playground bath toy, a pottery wheel with clay, and this fashion thing where you mix and match outfit parts and trace them.
Joon requested a puppy cake, and my mom made one for her. Joon and I made a pinata together. She wanted it to be a blue puppy, so that's what I made. But then it ended up being just Joon and one other three year old here, so we decided not to break the pinata, and just dumped out the contents and let them take what they wanted.
Joon started preschool a few weeks ago, and she's doing great! She's really enjoying it, and I think it's going to be good for her. She brought home her first Scholastic order forms, and I want to order her a bunch of things, but sadly we can only afford one cheap thing. Every day, they learn about a different color, and they're encouraged to wear that color. They do crafts and learn new songs, and Joon is always so excited to tell us about everything she did at school.
Penny is growing crazy fast. She's doing all sorts of new stuff every day. She's grabbing things pretty well now. She can get toys into her mouth. She is desperate to get food. Every time there's food nearby, she tries to get it. She also rolls around constantly. She generally doesn't like being on her belly, but she still rolls onto her belly within minutes of being put down on her back. She's having problems sleeping now, and I think it's because she's teething. She's making all sorts of noises, and when you say Hi to her, she usually responds with a big "Hiii!" She can sit for a few seconds with her upper body propped up on her arms.
We went to a hot air balloon festival, and Joon was pretty excited about it. Penny also seemed interested in the big brightly colored balloons.
On Friday, my mom and I took the kids to Helen Hunt Falls. We hiked through the forest for a couple of hours, and played in the stream.
Then we took a quick trip to the zoo.
Joon turned three this past Wednesday. We had her birthday party yesterday, and it went well. Not many people showed up. Joon liked all the presents she got. We gave her a Dorothy the Dinosaur costume, a Wags the Dog costume, a plush Shifu from Kung Fu Panda, and a set of pots and pans for her toy kitchen. My mom gave her some toy food and a bunch of books. She also got a puppy Play Doh set, a mermaid playground bath toy, a pottery wheel with clay, and this fashion thing where you mix and match outfit parts and trace them.
Joon requested a puppy cake, and my mom made one for her. Joon and I made a pinata together. She wanted it to be a blue puppy, so that's what I made. But then it ended up being just Joon and one other three year old here, so we decided not to break the pinata, and just dumped out the contents and let them take what they wanted.
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